well I guess ....

I get so angry at "happy people" and "happy families" I see a family walking through the store, doing their normal family stuff and it hurts. Not me mind you,but my kids. I hate that they do not have that. I hate that they are deprived of that idea of home. The idea that everything is ok. The security of having two people at home that care and love them. It makes me so angry that I have to answer questions like "is it ok if I love mommy_______" ?Why do you live alone mom?doesn't anyone love you"?It is stupid and trivial shit like that that get to me most. Why they have to suffer while there are "whole" families out there with all the parts oiled and moving. I want so much to tell them that I am in love (and loved) but their poor little minds have so much weight already that I know that it is not the right time. It is more of dealing with the nightmares and separation anxiety that fill my day. I hate the first day back.